Leaf Picking Elves

spotted along Lygon Street, Melbourne.

Came down with a mild fever because I've been sleeping in the freezing weather without a blanket. Apparently I've been kicking off the blanket in my sleep and tossing around a lot. I didn't know that! Sigh. Met Jamie at Brunetti for coffee and cake, and while walking there I saw these two lovely girls who just collected a buch of fallen leaves along the streets.

This is why I love kids in general, not pretentious and guarded at all. Just look at how happy they look *smiles* How nice if everyone can be that real and sincere. I've had a great time here, at the lecture I have met many nice people (even though we didn't exchange contacts to keep in touch) where a random conversation can be struck up with anyone. I have never done this before, generally being rather guarded and shy but it was great when reservations are put aside and smiles are exchanged.

Especially at Rod Laver Arena where the lectures took place, everyone was just so kind and nice towards one another and there was no pretense at all. Smiles. Smiles everywhere from people who genuinely felt happy and they don't mind passing on the happy vibes to another person because happiness is contagious.

One of the main benefits from the series of lecture is probably feeling a lot more confident about myself. Previously I have behaved in a certain way that I felt was right, trying to love unconditionally. However I never really understood why I wanted to do that, and whether it was best for me.

Will caring unconditionally for others ultimately bring hurt to myself?

I came here finding the answers to several questions and ultimately understanding myself. Just like what I quoted previously "without faith, it is very hard to practice. Without reason, it is very hard to accept rules." Through the series of lectures and post lecture contemplation and discussion with others, it has just further affirmed my actions that they are not just sheer acts of folly and idealism but of a deeper nature backed with reasons - reasons strong enough to trump over any cynicism that being selfless (not to be confused with self-sacrificial) is silly. This is what I've benefitted the most from this trip, to feel alot more confident because of reasons that finally could validate my actions and further motivate me further.

No longer feeling sorry or inferior about myself, but recognising that everyone is in fact an equal counterpart of one another. Nobody has the position to judge whether who else is better or worse, because the moment we criticise, we are flawed ourselves.

I've set out a lifelong mission to try being selfless even though I know I have a very long way to go before I can fully understand the concept of selflessness and fixing my personality but it's ok. I guess I have all the time I need to work on it as well.

Duck has been feeling very troubled and I don't really know how to help him, but this time I'm just calm and rational when he told me things that were hurtful to hear because he's unable to move on from the past. It's saddening to see him miserable this way, and it hurts way more than the fact that he still loves her and not me.

I would do anything within my means to see him being happy, but certain elements are just not within my control. I've tried my best though, and I just hope for the best that everyone can be happy.